WHAT'S THE QUALITY OF YOUR RELATIONSHIPS?
CHANGE HOW YOU RELATE & YOU CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

 

Life is hard enough, but especially rough when you're isolated, lonely, depressed, or lack passion. We need others to thrive. Truth is that we're hard-wired this way. We need camaraderie, belonging, and love in our life. Our overall health depends on it.

Attachment-Focused Relationship Coaching & Psychotherapy looks at how we bond and connect with others, and how we choose significant life partners. Insecure attachment means we'll probably respond with either preoccupied-anxious neediness or fearful-dismissive avoidance. It's a kind of push-pull, distancer-pursuer dance of relating. It's distressing. It undermines trust.

I help people break this cycle and learn new dance steps. I work with both couples and individuals. I work well with those who chase emotionally unavailable people and repeatedly sell themselves short when it comes to love. I also have a knack for teaching those unavailable types a few new things about opening up more. SCHEDULE SESSION


how can attachment-Focused COACHING AND THERAPY help you?
My approach is holistic and looks at all of your relationships.

 
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RELATIONSHIP
TO SELF

Are you kind or hard on yourself? Negative self-speak is a form of self-aggression. We all need to be more encouraging. Do you like yourself?

 
 

RELATIONSHIP
TO OTHERS

Life is meant to be shared with others. We thrive and feel healthier when we have good friends. What quality of friendship do you offer?

 
 
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RELATIONSHIP
TO WORK

What role does work play in your everyday life? For some, it creates meaning. For others, it interferes. Are you working to live or living to work?

 

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ABOUT ME

Education-wise, I graduated from Regis University in Denver, CO with a degree in Counseling Psychology. I also studied Psychotherapy from a Buddhist perspective (Contemplative Psychotherapy) at Naropa University. I completed continuing education and post-graduate studies in attachment and relationships, EMDR for PTSD and trauma resolution, the psychology of spirituality, and Emotionally-Focused Therapy.

I have 15 years' experience including: bereavement counselor at a hospice, multicultural therapist at a rape crisis agency, and community outreach worker at a gay men’s wellness organization. I am a clinician in private practice full-time, working with adults and couples, both in-person in Philadelphia or via telephone. I am credentialed as a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Pennsylvania, license #PC006815. If you have a question or want to know more, then please CONTACT ME .

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WHY DO CLIENTS CHOOSE ME AS THEIR RELATIONSHIP COACH & PSYCHOTHERAPIST?

EMPATHETIC RAPPORT

Clients have mentioned that I am nonjudgmental, warm, and supportive. The technical term for mutual empathy is limbic resonance. When we experience limbic resonance, we feel emotionally attuned with another person. We feel seen, known, heard, and understood. This exchange is the foundation for all trusting relationships, including good therapy. I offer you sincere empathy.

ENGAGED PARTICIPATION

When it comes to supporting clients, I'm not a passive listener. I actively engage and participate during sessions. Clients tell me my style is quite different from other therapists. Gone are the days when psychology taught therapists to sit quietly and aloof. Clinical psychology today is more about participation. I want sessions to include lively dialogue. I offer you presence.

CREATIVELY RESOURCEFUL

It's my job to figure out how best to connect with clients and their life's situation. The more resourceful I am when reaching out to clients, then the more resourceful they can be relating to themselves. My goal is to apply creativity in various ways so that clients discover their own resourcefulness. My creative approach means clients have options. I offer you choices.


What therapeutic approaches influence how we work together?

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PSYCHODYNAMIC APPROACH
A Psychodynamic approach helps identify how childhood development influences our choices today. This approach uses the past as a powerful tool to illuminate the present. Psychodynamic therapy focuses on interpersonal relating between the client and therapist as a good source of information and insight. Therapy from this perspective values awareness and critical understanding of who we are and how we tick. It also promotes long-term relating with the therapist, differing from brief, solution-focused approaches. There is no substitute for the powerful experience of a therapist who has known you intimately for years. Long-term, reliable encouragement and support are life-changing.

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EMOTION-FOCUSED
Emotion-Focused therapy helps access present-moment awareness through felt-sense experience. Emotions serve as messengers about the self and the world around us. Emotions help us discern between external and internal subjective realities. This is a highly-prized skill, tracking the congruence and incongruence of how emotional states and cognitive beliefs construct reality. We only know something is wrong because it feels wrong. When we bring curiosity to our feelings, we wake up to a more vibrant, embodied experience of living. Many of us are disconnected from feelings, living shut down, numbed-out, or distracted. Emotion-Focused therapy reestablishes the connection.

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ATTACHMENT THEORY
Psychotherapy from an attachment perspective helps clients understand both their behaviors and responses within important, intimate relationships. As children, we inherit from our parents and caregivers a template for attachment. We use our template as a reference point for creating adult relationships. Our attachment system is physiologically-based and rooted in the neurobiology of brain and nervous system functioning. We are hard-wired through evolution to bond for reasons of survival. When our primary relationships are threatened, we respond in predictable ways, usually either preoccupied-anxious or avoidant. This information is extremely important for anyone who has experienced abandonment, neglect, or betrayal.

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BUDDHIST PSYCHOLOGY
Buddhism together with psychotherapy teaches us how to stop seeking, grasping, and desiring change. We often believe that we lack something and therefore need to find what is missing. We drive ourselves crazy, frantically working harder at being better, smarter, skinnier, wealthier, and even happier. Instead of achieving our reward at the end of our efforts, we mindlessly run ourselves into the ground, become disillusioned, lost, and for many of us exhausted. We never truly find what is missing because we fail to realize that nothing has been lost. We don’t have to “fix” what is wrong because on a fundamental level there is nothing wrong. There’s freedom in this approach; we begin to practice accepting reality as it is, instead of fighting against it.


CONVENIENT OPTIONS FOR WORKING TOGETHER - NO MATTER YOUR LOCATION.

TELE-CONSULT SESSIONS

  • Available anywhere in the U.S.
  • Relationship Coaching is a phone call away.
  • Only for individuals, not couples.

SESSIONS IN PHILADELPHIA, PA

  • Center City office location.
  • Near major transit options.

Learn More About the Benefits of 1-to-1 Coaching with Alan Robarge